The Captain and a series of unfortunate events

What a weekend. This last weekend has been one of those that you actually wanted to go back to work. The following story is true. There will be no exaggerations.

After a long and boring day Friday at work I took off a little early to do some running around prior to having to attend a graduation ceremony at a local college. I went home, showered, shaved, and got dressed. I had some time to kill so I decided to go over to a friend house for a little while. I was there all of ten minutes when Buddha's wife called and said there was a snake at her front door and she could not get in her house. So I left and went straight over there. She was standing in the yard about 20 feet refusing to go near the house. By the time I got there the snake was gone, it had crawled in a hole on the porch. So we start watching a movie to kill some more time and the went to the graduation. We all wanted to get in and out because we had tickets to go see Episode 3. When we left the college, traffice was backing up and we realized there must have been a wreck. We inched up the road to find a car from the southbound lane upside down and in the median. There was no police or EMT's on the scene so Buddha and I (being trained first responders) pulled off the road, popped the trunk, grabbed the first aid kit, gloves, reflective vest and flashlight. Buddha went to the car and started triage. A county police officer had just arrived and I told him who we were and the situation. I told him I would handle the traffic. So I had to direct all of the graduation traffice around the accident and make room for emergency vehicles. After working the scene for over 30 minutes we decided to get Buddha's wife to go into town and get some food and pick us up after the wreck was cleared. When she tried to pull back onto the road my call was completely stuck. It took three big fireman to push my car out. It was covered in mud. An hour later, it finally slowed down enough where we could leave.

Exhausted, hungry and ready to relax at the movies, we pull in to the BRAND NEW movie theater. We sat in the parking lot and ate our late dinner. Then we went inside to watch the movie. It was a midnight showing and they did not even open the doors until midnight. We gathered in the theater and took our seats. After about 20 minutes of commercials and previews the movie finally started. Now keep in mind this is a brand new Carmike cinema. During the movie (episode 3, on of the biggest movies of all time) the lights would come on at random. The projector room lights would come on. The film itself would jump and skip. Ok, we could all live with that, the movie was good enough to look past all of that. Then about 3/4s into the movie the freaking reel burnt up. Everyone was completly pissed off. So we had to sit there for another 20 minutes waiting on the movie to restart. After they started it back up, we got to see parts of the movie in split screen (half on top and half on bottom). At this point the tempers were raging. Then when we thought we were in the clear at the very last of the movie (I'm talking 1 minute left) the F*#&ing reel burnt again. That was the last straw! Everbody poured out of there demanding a refund, but wait there wasn't anyone around. I'm not joking, there wasn't an employee anywhere to be found. Luckily the people there were decent people and didn't just trash the place and leave. So I go from door to door beating on anydoor that said employees only. I even went into the OPENED managers office to try and call up to the projector room, no one seemed to be there. After 20 minutes of pissed off searching this fucking ass of a man named (that's right I am naming this son of a bitch) Harold Bernard, comes out of one of the doors and had the audacity to say "Well at least you all got to see the whole movie". I looked at him, laughed and said "oh no, we are all here for a refund", Jackass then replies "how can I give you a refund, there is no cash here". I said you better do something and do it quick (it was 3:00am). He said all he could do was give us refund tickets, so I turned to the crowd and asked if that would be ok. Everyone agreed so we got our tickets and left. So I'm going to fire off some nasty emails to Carmike and the Better Business Bureau.

So it took the remainder of the weekend to recover from Friday nights events. I hope this is a good week!